Food...stresssed

I'm not happy with my eating as of...always I say I'm gonna change and I'm gonna not cheat but for some reason I'm not strong enough? Why is this such a struggle for me? I just want to lose weight and be healthy! I am tired of diets though. I can't be always eating clean! But for some reason I can't even make it through without cheating just the one day. I can't do this anymore! I'm starting fresh in the morning...my jumping jack ab work out and my eating. I pray that this time i can truly stop the madness. I will do the regular jcbc diet and one cheat day which will be next Saturday. I really need to workout tonight...but I can't I'm so in a funk of lazy right now. Feeling defeated. :( 

Lol this is my stressed out and diappointed look! I'm hard on myself after not before. Something's gotta give.