6.3 mile run! My first time doing it!

OMG!!! Lol I'm happy to say that I ran the longest I've ever ran this morning. I thank God I made it...I wanted to stop 50,000 times. But I kept thinking positive thoughts. I thank Carole! She supported me and kept encouraging me to do it...I told her I can't...but I did it! Lol 

She's very sweet!! 

Here's the crew! Carole, Todd, me and Sherrian! We did that. My time was 1:06. Lol I didn't stop my app when I stopped...I was so done! I felt like passing out! Ahhh!! I wanted to cry..but I didn't! 

Here's the course. I am proud! 😁😁...and sore 😩. Lol gotta train better though. I need to start slowly and build up to this so it won't be as crazy. Ahh a wonderful feeling of completion. :) 2014 is full of athletic first! 😝😊😂😍😉👆

Family zoo trip!

Every year we go to the zoo...fun times..lol it's a family tradition that we have done since Dwight and I started dating. I even had contractions at the zoo. 

Here's a 2013 shot of me and today. I was 44lbs bigger and didn't realize my face was so fat! Yikes! 

Side note I weighed in today I am 170.6 5 lbs away from my 2nd goal!! I'm so happy!!! Lol I'm not gonna stop I'm gonna win!!!

Today...

Well as you know I am doing the 17 day diet and I am on day 10. I got on the scale today and I loss 2lbs exactly from Saturday. I am a little sad that it's not more. But I did start off at 179...and now I'm 171 that's 8lbs in 10 days I think that's good. But I know with this challenge and the way Ms Tonya is losing idk if anyone will catch up to her unless she stops losing...which I don't see happening...lol it's good though. I just wanna lose too! I'm so close to the 160s I can feel it! I am excited! I hope to reach my goal by next week so I can work on my next goal. Losing weight is so heart...you get emotional especially when you feel like you're working hard but there is no results or they are not what you want. I hope to be 168 by Saturday lol I don't know if that's realistic though.  I am gonna try!!

No matter what happens this journey is mines...and I have to do what's best for me! This number matters too much! Lol and I have loss and gained the same weight for too long!!! I'm done!!!

Tough..but doable!

There are days when I feel like I am never going to achieve my goal. I want this so badly..but I have weak moments. I am mad at myself because I should be closer to it than what I am. I gave in to the food...why?! I guess you have to fight harder everyday to beat up the inner you that's weak and wants to just eat. Why do we crave food that isn't healthy? The fact that it's so hard to give up makes me realize that it's stuff in there that's addictive! Things that will make us crazy and cranky when we don't have it! Things in there that will make us lose our minds! Lol I've lost it before...but now that I'm awaken...I'm not going back to sleep!! Food isn't worth me having to take insulin everyday cause I have diabetes now... Food isn't worth me keeping This stomach that I hate so much!!! I want it so bad...I cannot and will not let FOOD win! I now have the anger of the #FCKBEINGFAT in me! I am mad at myself..the weak fat person in me always trying to bring me down!!! I want to be proud of my body!!! I dont want to be self conscience anymore...it's tough! But I'm willing to suffer through the pain to get to my goal!

I'm posting her because she is what I want my body to be like. I know it won't be exactly the same but I want to get close to it.

Motivated!!!

Hey! I did some spin today! It's hard...but it's so good! Seriously! As I was riding on my bike in the sand at the beach (in my head lol) I looked around and thought wow...I can do anything I put my mind to if I want it bad enough! Sometimes there's a voice (the fat girl in us) that says it's okay to eat one cookie! It's okay to eat that burger and fries it's okay taste that pizza...and we give in to temptation...hey we are human! But there comes a point in your life while you're killing fat that you gotta beat that little negative voice down! You can do this...how do I know cause so many ppl have! Yes it's hard and yes it will suck...but it's worth it...living a long healthy life is worth more that any satisfaction that hamburger and fries give you...I'm not saying you can't enjoy your self but while you are trying to win....you have to lose the garbage! And when you do it long enough you will see that you no longer desire it as much as you use to. Kill the fat beat the monkey off your back! That food will be there...you know what it taste like...prepare yourself! You can and you will do this!! Love y'all have a great weekend! 

Feeling good...I weighed in today at 173.8... I am done playing with that fat girl! I beat her down today!!! And I plan to keep beating her daily! :)

Summer

So it's been a while since my last post...ending with a successful win at work....but summer has brought failure!! Yikes!!! I have gained weight due to pig outs and other fun! :) lol I'm not mad though I enjoyed myself but now back on the good foot!! 

My scale Monday...gaining 8lbs suck! But you can't let this get you down....you make this drive you to do better. If you get a flat tire you don't slash the rest you fix that ish and keep going! I detoxed that morning and I have been fasting meat. I think I might do it til Friday...idk lol but for 3 days for sure. I weighed myself again today...yea I'm obsessed!

Loss a little. So August 1 is coming and I'm doing a challenge!!! I'm pumped! So let's kill fat! Honestly losing to win is the goal! Taking it one day at a time! I wanna be at my second goal of 165 by the time school starts so it's time to stop playing!

August goals

I feel like I continue to do the wrong things and I'm letting myself down. Why? I am weak...I have a goal to be stronger! I want to be stronger in my way of thinking. I have gained and loss weight too much. This is my life and I want better for me. So my goal of 165 still hasn't been met and I should be sad...I have eaten and enjoyed myself too much! It's time to stop...and try to love myself enough to reach my goals. Lol I'm tired of being the person left behind.